With the holidays upon us, I have received a ton of questions from clients this week about how they should handle those situations where they have no choice but to keep their kiddo up past their bedtime. We’ve all been there -- you want to participate in the fun but you’re not sure how to minimize the consequences. Today, I'm not only going to share my tips for surviving the night but also how to get your child back on track the next day.
Tip #1 Prioritize Your Child’s Sleep Before The Big Event
A well-rested kid is going to be more flexible and less likely to meltdown as you’re saying your goodbyes. The goal is to be able to put your child into their car seat calmly. You don't want them screaming and crying because then they will be much less likely to fall asleep on the ride home, which is what you want. If they fall asleep on the ride home they're not only going to get more sleep, it will also be easier to get them down when you do get home because they'll be less overtired.
Tip #2 Stick To Your Bedtime Routine As Much As Possible
Make sure you prepare to do as much of their bedtime routine at their event as possible. Pack Your child's PJs (depending on the timing you can at least put them on before you leave), all of the equipment you need to do that last feed of the night, and maybe even their favorite book. If it’s possible to squeeze in a bath, bring their shampoo, body wash, and their towel -- all of the things that feel familiar to them. You can complete the bedtime routine where you are, making them feel comfortable and cueing them to fall asleep when you put them in the car.
Tip # 3 Pray They Fall Asleep In The Car
If they do fall asleep in the car, try to transfer them into their bed or crib while still asleep. Don't worry about waking them up to change their diaper or give them another feed. If your child's diaper is soiled and they're uncomfortable, or if they're hungry, they're going to wake up and let you know, so just try to put them down asleep.
If your child is asleep, the best way to transfer them to their sleeping environment is booty first, and then shoulders, then their head. Once their head is down, place a hand on their stomach with a little light pressure, and say a prayer that they stay asleep. If they don't, then a little gentle patting on the tummy will hopefully do the trick and allow them to go back to sleep.
If they do by chance wake up, try not to worry about it too much. Do is an abbreviated bedtime routine: skip the bath, do a diaper change, have your child go to the bathroom if potty trained, read some books, and then go straight to bed. Expect that they will probably protest a bit because they'll be a little cranky due to the overtiredness, but that's okay, just make sure that they're falling back asleep independently.
Tip #4 Expect Some Crankiness The Next Day
Your child is going to be overtired, and when they’re overtired, their amygdala, which is the portion of the brain that regulates our fear response, is going to be hyperactive. This is because their body starts to sense danger since it's not natural for humans to be sleep deprived. When we are sleep deprived, our amygdala is on overdrive and because of that, any stimulus is reacted to strongly. For your child, anything that is out of the ordinary is going to be perceived as a stressful situation. Expect some meltdowns and just try your best to be patient.
Tip #5: How To Get Them Back On Track The Next Day
Have appropriate expectations about the next morning. Don't expect your kid to sleep in. Unfortunately, their wake up time is hardcoded. Regardless of what time you put them down, they're likely to wake up at the usual time the next day. However, if your kiddo is a unicorn and sleeps in -- let them. Don't worry about messing up the schedule.
If you have a toddler, you can try and play one of my favorite Jedi mind tricks. Move their okay to wake clock later by 30-60 minutes and see if you can trick them into going back to sleep if they wake up at their usual time.
During the day, as I mentioned before, you're probably going to notice some extra crankiness. Put your kiddo down early for naps if needed. If your child wants to sleep for 2 hours and you usually wake them up after an hour and a half, let them sleep. In fact, let them sleep as much as they'd like, even if this means planning on an earlier bedtime.
So all-in-all, here’s your permission to throw caution to the wind. Have that extra cup of egg nog and enjoy the party. In the long term, you're not going to remember that your toddler had a tantrum on Christmas Eve. I promise they will catch up on the sleep the next day or two, and if they don't, I'm always here to help. Wishing you all a wonderful holiday and silent nights!
