Let’s Talk About Naps, Baby!
I want to talk to you about a four-letter word that is constantly on the minds of parents with young children. That four letter word is... you guessed it: NAPS.
First, naps are great for your child (and for you)!
I find that most parents have a love/hate relationship when it comes to naps. They love them when they're going well because parents get a break, and the kiddo wakes up happy. And let's face it, when your kiddo's well-rested, they're a lot more fun to be around! Plus, the parents get some time to themselves to either rest, or get some work done. Naps are the best thing in the world when they go smoothly!
But when naps are going poorly…
They sure can be an extreme source of frustration. That's because children typically wake up cranky (and stay cranky) and the parents don't get their well deserved and needed break.
Why is this the case? Why are naps so challenging at times?
Let me break down why naps can be so challenging:
The Absence of Melatonin
During the day, there is one key component missing: melatonin. As you probably know, melatonin is the "sleepy hormone" that our bodies produce when there's an absence of light and our bodies suppress it when there is light present. So at night, there's melatonin, and during the day, no melatonin. The process that drives naps during the day is called sleep pressure. Sleep pressure is produced by a chemical called adenosine. While we're awake, our bodies produce adenosine and our adenosine levels grow, and then the adenosine connects to neurons in our brain to make us sleepy.
Adenosine is present at night as well as during the day, but since there's an absence of melatonin during the day, your child, unfortunately, has less motivation to sleep.
4 Tips for Better Naps
Although naps can be challenging, they typically fall into place with a little know-how and a lot of patience.
Here are four ways you can set yourself up for nap success:
Tip #1: Make sure your child is falling asleep independently.
What I mean by that is your kiddo’s not dependent on you to put them to sleep, whether that's rocking, bouncing, holding, feeding them to sleep — standing on your head to get them to sleep! whatever it takes! — but that they're falling asleep on their own. In other words, you are putting your child in their crib (without them being drowsy) and they are putting themselves to sleep.
If that's not the case for you, go ahead and check out my blog post called "What Is Sleep Training?" In the blog, I explain in more detail what sleep training is (because that's what you're going to need to do to teach your child to fall asleep independently) and I also give a rundown on the four main methods of sleep training. So then you can decide what's going to be best for your family and start doing some research to figure out how to make it happen.
Tip #2: Find your child's sweet spot for their awake time.
The Wake Window
A wake window is the time between when your kiddo wakes up in the morning and the time you put them into their crib for their nap. Take a look at my wake window guide sheet — it is pretty spot on and I use it with all my clients. The guide will help you determine the age-appropriate wake window for your child and then you'll start there.
How to use the wake window
Use the short end of the wake window for the first nap (adenosine builds up faster in the morning!) If that first nap is longer than an hour, then you can stretch your baby to the longer end of the wake window. If the nap is shorter than an hour, then you want to stick to the shorter end of the wake window.
Of course, every baby is a little bit different. So, I would start by giving the age-appropriate wake window a try for a good 3-5 days, and if you find that it's not working for your baby, then you can make some tweaks. Chances are it's going to work, however you may need to do a little bit of experimentation. If it doesn't work, then I would try shifting the wake window earlier by 15 minutes or later by 15 minutes. But just make sure to give each wake window combination some time to work (3-5 days).
Tip #3: Make sure your child's sleep environment is set up for success.
Having an ideal sleep environment that's conducive to sleep is key. We want your child's room to look like a little cave when they sleep during the day, as well as the night. It should be pitch black. I find that most parents actually make a mistake in this area. Often, parents will use blackout drapes or curtains (you'd think that'd be enough, right?) — but there's still light coming into the window. But I find that what you really need to do is to cover the windows completely so that no light leaks in whatsoever. My favorite product for this is called the EZ Blackout Window Covers. They are inexpensive, very easy to put up, and most of all, they're effective.
In addition to making sure that your child's sleep environment is pitch black, you also want to protect it from external sounds. I highly recommend using a sound machine, and I prefer a sound machine that offers brown noise as opposed to white noise. Brown noise is similar to a running river and it's very soothing and low frequency, while white noise is comparable to a TV that's set on a station that's no longer in use (that static sound — you know what I'm talking about!). Check out the sound machine I recommend here→
Lastly, in terms of a sleep environment, make sure that your baby's room is the optimal temperature — somewhere between 68-72° should be perfect. You want the room a little more on the cool side because our body temperature has to lower by 2 degrees in order to fall asleep.
Tip #4: Have realistic expectations.
Your job as a parent is to set your child up for sleep success — the rest is up to them.
If you're doing your best (you're making sure your baby's going down independently, the wake windows are on point, the environment is perfect), the rest is going to be up to them. I do find that some babies will not take those long, chunky naps that are longer than an hour until they're on a two nap schedule — which doesn't happen until 7 months. So in the meantime, if your child is taking short naps, I would make sure to leave them in their crib for a good 10 minutes. That way, they won't expect you to come in and end the nap, and it will give them motivation to try to fall back to sleep. Truly, it can just take some time for babies to figure out how to fall back to sleep — and you want to ensure you're giving your baby that space to learn.
I hope that these tips help to bring you nap success! If you continue to struggle with naps and you want assistance, we're here for you. You can schedule a free 15-minute discovery call here to talk more about your situation and explain how best to approach it.
LET’S GET YOU TUCKED IN
Book a 15-minute sleep evaluation today. We’ll chat about your current situation and how my program could benefit you.
Sweet Dreams…
Kelly Murray is a certified sleep coach and an award-winning pediatric sleep consultant based in Chicago offering sleep coaching services nationwide.
