Understanding and Coping with Nightmares vs. Night Terrors in Children
By: Melissa Bramwell, SENIOR Sleep SQUAD Consultant
Despite the similar sounding name, nightmares and night terrors are different. My goal is to explain the differences between these two phenomena, and equip you with some tools to help you handle them when your child experiences either one.
Nightmares vs. Night Terrors: What's the Difference?
Nightmares
Nightmares typically occur a few hours after your child goes to bed or in the very early hours of the morning. During nightmares, your child is more aware of their surroundings and can be comforted and reassured. Nightmares happen during the REM (Rapid Eye Movement) stage of sleep when the brain is processing information, reorganizing, and storing memories. This can sometimes confuse children about what's reality and what's a dream.
Night Terrors
Night Terrors, on the other hand, usually happen a couple of hours after your child falls asleep during the deepest stage of non-REM sleep. During a night terror, your child might not respond to you or even know you're in the room. They cannot be comforted and might not remember the episode in the morning. Night terrors are often genetic, so if you or your partner had night terrors, your child might experience them too.
The main difference is that with night terrors, your child is not able to be reassured. They don't even know that you're there, which makes it harder to know how to help.
Ages and Frequency
I am often asked what ages do each of these phenomena start to happen and develop.
Nightmares usually start to develop around 18 to 24 months. Any earlier than this, and it is probably not a nightmare. If your baby is experiencing something that seems like a nightmare earlier than this (i.e. they’re shrieking, unconsolably crying, etc.) then it is best to consult your pediatrician.
Night Terrors are less common than nightmares and typically present in children from 2 to 12 years old.
Coping with Nightmares and Night Terrors
Coping and managing nightmares and night terrors looks a bit different for each. As I mentioned, with nightmares, you are able to reassure your child and can help them get back to sleep. Whereas with night terrors, your abilities are much more limited since your child is in such a deep state of sleep. That said, here are some strategies that can help with both.
Coping with Nightmares
Reassure Your Child: When they wake up from a nightmare, offer vocal or physical reassurance. Just hearing your voice can be extremely comforting. Let them know that they are safe and loved, that they’re in their bed, and remind them of their surroundings. If you need to turn on a nightlight, that’s totally ok, just try to stick to an amber-toned light to help promote sleep, as cool tones can stimulate cortisol production, which makes it harder to fall back to sleep.
Avoid Probing Questions: Don’t ask too many questions about the nightmare. Offer support and reassurance instead. If your child does want to share about the nightmare, that is ok, but just be there to listen instead of ask questions. Typically, once they’re feeling a little better and have had some support, they will go back to sleep.
Dream Jar Activity: Create a "dream jar" with your child during the day. Take a mason jar (or whatever you can find!) and let your child decorate it with stickers, taped-on-pictures, paint, etc. Go wild. Then, come up with a list of some of their favorite things to do or memories that make them smile and jot these all down on paper. You can also encourage your child to draw those things out and use the images on paper instead of words. In the middle of the night if they do wake up from a nightmare, encourage them to pick something out of the dream jar. This will help change the station their brain is on and get them to a better mental place. I love suggesting this tip for families as it is a fun activity to do during the day and can easily be incorporated into one-on-one time with a parent or caregiver.
Coping with Night Terrors:
Unfortunately, you can't do much in the moment for night terrors since your child isn’t fully awake. However, there are ways to help prevent them:
Limit Screen Time: Turn off screens at least an hour before bedtime.
Reduce Stimulating Toys: Avoid toys with lights or sounds close to bedtime.
Encourage Relaxing Activities: Activities like kid yoga, stretching, or deep breathing can help prepare your child for sleep.
Consistent Bedtime Routine: Stick to a consistent bedtime routine, including the same steps each night.
Adjust Bedtime: If your child is overtired, move their bedtime up by 15-minute increments until you find what works best. Overtiredness is a symptom of too much cortisol in the system from fighting fatigue, which creates the opposite effect we want at bedtime. Too much cortisol can provoke nightmares and night terrors, so shifting bedtime earlier can be very helpful in preventing them.
Use a Zenimal: This device offers kid-friendly meditations that can help your child relax before bed.
Sleep Shouldn’t Be a Terror
By following these tips, you can help your child cope with and prevent nightmares and night terrors. Remember, every child is different, and what works for one might not work for another. If you have any questions or need further support, please reach out to us. We would love to help you and your family get the best sleep possible.
All team members have completed training with Kelly and have learned the Murray Method. Kelly continues to support, guide and oversee the Sleep Squad as they work with the families who trust in us. This way, all clients are able to experience the same amazing results (and lots and lots of sleep).
Sweet Dreams…
Kelly Murray is a certified sleep coach and an award-winning pediatric sleep consultant based in Chicago offering sleep coaching services nationwide.
