Why Does My Child Still Cry at Bedtime After Being Sleep Trained?
By Jade LiManni (MASTER Sleep Consultant)
I want to dive into a common question that pops up as we guide families through the sleep training journey.
It's a question born from curiosity, sometimes tinged with concern, but it often goes like this: "My child starts crying when bedtime rolls around. Are they unhappy with their room? Do they despise bedtime? And, most importantly, will this crying ever end?"
I'm here to tell you, it usually won't last forever, and here's why.
The Comfort of Predictability
What you're witnessing is actually a sign of progress. Through your dedication and consistency, you've crafted a bedtime routine that's become a comforting, predictable ritual for your child. They've learned that when this routine kicks off, it's time to wrap up the play and prepare for bed.
Now, your child might not always be thrilled about this transition. They might not even have the words to express their reluctance, especially if they're on the younger side. So, what you see is their way of saying, "I'm not ready for bed" or "I don't want to sleep yet."
Tears as Protests
For some kids, this resistance to bedtime translates into tears. It's their way of protesting the end of the day, just as they might do when it's time to stop playing with their favorite toy. For older children, you might hear verbal protests like, "I'm not tired!" or "Just five more minutes, please."
This is perfectly normal, and it's a way for them to assert their independence and preferences. It doesn't mean they hate their room or are upset with you. Instead, it signifies that they've grasped the concept of bedtime, and they're exercising their newfound ability to have a say in the matter.
Temporary Phases and Steam Release
Now, here's the reassuring part. For the majority of children, this phase doesn't last indefinitely. It's a natural part of their development, and as they grow, they often outgrow these bedtime protests. The key is patience and consistency.
However, there is a small percentage of children who might continue to need an outlet to release some energy or emotions before winding down for the night. This release can take the form of crying or protesting.
The Goal: Peaceful Bedtime and Restful Sleep
Our ultimate aim with sleep training is for your child to be able to drift off to sleep within about five to 15 minutes at bedtime.
It's perfectly okay if some of this time is spent crying or protesting, especially during the adjustment period.
As your child grows and their sleep patterns stabilize, you'll likely notice a reduction in these bedtime tears. This peaceful bedtime routine and the ability to sleep through the night indicate that your child's bedtime is appropriate for their needs.
We Are Here to Help!
So, if you've been wondering why your child seems to cry at bedtime, take heart. It's not about them hating their room or being upset with you. It's a sign of their growing understanding and their way of expressing their desires.
Remember, consistency and patience are your allies on this journey. The tears will likely subside, and you'll be left with peaceful bedtimes and restful nights. Keep up the fantastic work, and know that you're providing your child with a foundation for healthy sleep habits that will benefit them for years to come.
If you're still struggling with your child’s sleep, feel free to set up a complimentary discovery call with either myself or someone on the Kelly Murray Sleep Squad and we would love to chat with you more about other options for your baby and how we can help get you and your child better nights sleep.
All team members have completed training with Kelly and have learned the Murray Method. Kelly continues to support, guide and oversee the Sleep Squad as they work with the families who trust in us. This way, all clients are able to experience the same amazing results (and lots and lots of sleep).
Sweet Dreams…
Kelly Murray is a certified sleep coach and an award-winning pediatric sleep consultant based in Chicago offering sleep coaching services nationwide.
