How to Drop the Nap For Good
BY Jade LiManni, Master Sleep Consultant
Dun, Dun, Dunnnnn!
Wait! Don’t stress Mama – this can be good!
It is a milestone we tend to shy away from. As parents, we love the nap! Our kids often still love the nap! Why would we ever give up the nap and our short mid-day moment of peace and quiet?
I see so many clients try to hang onto the nap for a little too long. But I have news for you! Dropping the nap (when ready!) can result in more quality sleep for your preschooler overall, earlier bedtimes (do I hear weekday night Netflix in your future?), and with consistency, you can still get that mid-day break with quiet time.
When to Drop the Nap?
I recommend keeping the nap in until at least 3. Until 3, kids need the nap. If they aren’t napping, I find they are often overtired and not getting the right amount of sleep required.
At this age, your preschooler still needs 10-13 hours of sleep within 24 hours. A 3 year old will likely be on the higher end of this range as those total sleep needs are for ages 3-5 years.
So when the nap is dropped, your preschooler likely needs close to a 12 hour night. So that 7am morning wake up? That means a 7pm bedtime! Score! But if they are still napping 1-2 hours a day, that means they have less room in their sleep needs for a big chunky night. So with that 7am wake up you see an 8-8:30pm…maybe even 9pm bedtime!
Rule of thumb is after your kiddo is 3, if it is taking them longer than 20 mins to fall asleep at bedtime and/or they are not able to maintain a 10 hour night with their morning wake up time, it’s time to shorten (if longer than 1 hour) or drop the nap.
How to Transition to No More Naps
Congratulations! You are taking a bold step into a new sleep territory for both you and your child! Your child will likely still be tired around their typical nap time. This is where I like to give them “Quiet Time.” It is a moment of downtime for them.
To do this successfully, I implement a visual aid for them to know when “Quiet Time” begins and ends with a set of expectations. A toddler clock like a Hatch Rest is great here!
Use it just like you would for night time sleep – when the light is red, “Quiet Time” in your room is happening. When the light is green, “Quiet Time” is over.
Start small! Don’t expect your kiddo is going to independently play for 1 hour the first time or even the first week!
I recommend starting with 5-10 minutes the first couple of times so that your kiddo can see how the clock works. When it’s red, expectation is playing independently in their room. When light is green, it’s done! Praise them for meeting that goal (even if it was only 5 minutes) to encourage them. Once they are meeting that goal for 1-2 days, add another 5-10 minutes until you get to 45 to 60 minutes.
Can I Just Offer Screen Time?
Everyone handles this differently. Personally, I choose “Quiet Time” as a screen free time. It is a time that my child needs a break from the sensory to just be a kid – use their imagination, practice choices and independent play. I have a set of “special” activities that are used just for “Quiet Time” that he can work on without my assistance.
Doesn’t necessarily have to be quiet, but things he can do by himself. This will be different for every child – for some it might be puzzles, books, coloring (Water Wow’s are great here – no need to worry about mess!).
For others it might be a set of special hot wheel cars and track or magnetic dress up dolls. An audio book or a kid friendly electronic audio reader is another great option. Maybe even some brand new toys!
For my son, we started with a basket of activities that merged into a huge under bed drawer of all things he enjoyed doing for quiet time. It evolves as interests change. And the real motivator? I use screen time as a reward to completing “Quiet Time.”
If he can follow the rules of the “Quiet Time” (remember even if it was only 5 minutes), he earns his screen time post. If he doesn’t follow the rules of “Quiet Time” he gets two warnings to remind him and if not – we don’t do screen time after.
We don’t shame. We just simply say that since we weren’t able to give our body and brains a break from distraction, we don’t get to watch T.V. But he can try again tomorrow and I know that he can do it!
So if your preschooler is close to dropping that nap or you know it’s time and you are just too afraid to do it – I say jump in! You can still get a moment to recoup with some “Quiet Time” plus the benefit of an earlier bedtime for your child – resulting in better quality of night sleep overall! A win-win if you ask me!
All team members have completed training with Kelly and have learned the Murray Method. Kelly continues to support, guide and oversee the Sleep Squad as they work with the families who trust in us. This way, all clients are able to experience the same amazing results (and lots and lots of sleep).
Sweet Dreams…
Kelly Murray is a certified sleep coach and an award-winning pediatric sleep consultant based in Chicago offering sleep coaching services nationwide.
